Here ya go...
1. A client was using the product "Bitter Apple" to teach her dog not to chew on things. BUT, she was spraying at the dog instead of on the objects she didn't want chewed. I suggested she no longer spray such a product in her dog's face and instead follow the directions.
2. Client used the term "euthanate"
3. A self-admitted grade "D" pet owner solved the problem of her cat and dog eating each other's food by alternately buying a bag of cat food and then a bag of dog food and feeding both from the same bag.
4. Someone called the clinic asking about getting some Amoxicillin for her fish. Red flag-you don't treat fish with amoxicillin. After further discussion she admitted it wasn't for her fish it was for her, she wanted if for a bad tooth or something and could we just get her the meds. First of all, no. Second, at least use a believable story like a large dog, not fish.
5. Called a client to discuss his dog's radiographs only to find out that the number in the file connected me to Afghanistan where the client was deployed. He requested I call his wife in the states to discuss this matter. No problem but don't leave this number as the only one in the file. Also the person who dropped the dog off and left this number might have mentioned it would connect us to Afghanistan.
6. While working at a spay/neuter clinic in a more questionable area of town a suspicious looking guy doing a lot of twitching walks in and asks to use the restroom. When informed that we had no restroom available for public use he responded with "ok, I'll just wait" and took a seat. Perplexed, the office manager advised that we really couldn't help him unless he needed spay/neuter info. He then launched into this bizarre story about a box on the the sidewalk and how there were wires coming out of it and something about it affecting the birds. Office manager suggested he contact the authorities if he had concerns about the "box" and when he finally left, she locked the door.
7. After euthanizing a large breed dog the owner asked if we could extract the canine tooth so he could use it as a necklace. I advised that such an extraction was a major procedure amounting to oral surgery and there would be a significant cost for this. But offered that he could take the dog home and do as he pleased with it. He elected to just proceed with cremation. I guess he though teeth might just fall out after death.
8. A client announced that she obtained her Chinese Crested dog because they remind her of mini-horses. You be the judge.
10. Client asked if we would mind if they brought their concealed weapon into the clinic or if we would prefer he leave it in the car. Do you feel you need a weapon while in the clinic?
11. Client thought their injured dog was mauled by a deer. I'm not sure that's even something that happens but I'm pretty sure that if it did, it would not lead to small puncture wounds.
12. Some of the more unusual pet names-Bite and Scratch (one name), Widow, Batman Tiggly, Murderball, and Murderface. Yes those are all real.
13. This is a hairless cat. I just think it's weird.
14. And finally, from the "you might be a redneck if" category...