1. Caller asked if all male cats have 8 nipples. Apparently this was going to be her way of determining if a cat was male or female. I would have suggested a more obvious way. And no, I don't believe the number of nipples is uniform nor does it regularly vary from female cats.
2. A woman arrived with a cat that had a urinary obstruction (not an uncommon emergency of male cats) that had started the previous day. However, she thought that the cat had been poisoned by the baking soda she put on the carpet to soak up the bloody urine and that is why the cat stopped urinating. First of all, no. But even if that's the case if your cat is unable to urinate it's still an emergency!
3. Questionable looking men arrived with a diabetic dog not doing well. First question-how much insulin are you giving. I don't know, about that much (holds fingers apart). This is not really an acceptable answer so I try again. How much insulin were you prescribed? Five units, and then Dr. Regular said to cut back a little when he started doing better. Great, how much did you cut back? I don't know. (Seriously, I am now only asking for a number between 1 and 4!) But as it turns out the dog is dying from flea anemia and not poorly regulated diabetes.
4. On overweight elderly woman in a questionable and disturbingly revealing outfit arrived for an appointment with her ill behaved dog. When the dog had to be muzzled for vaccines she proceeded to threaten it with very blatantly racist comments in front the technician and I. As if we weren't horrified enough by the outfit.
5. A woman with a swollen face entered the clinic and asked for antibiotics. When told we don't just sell those kinds of medications over the counter she responded with "well, what do I need? A dog?" Um yes, a dog with a condition requiring antibiotics. She proceeded to walk out.
6. Owners dropped off a new dog for exam. The dog had a scar on his back and they wanted to know what from....because....they had heard of people cutting dogs on their backs and inserting illegal drugs under their skin to use them as drug mules. This is not usually my first differential for a scar so I advised them it was likely trauma.
7. Woman made an appointment for her 17 year old dog because she thinks it is dying. Dog had fleas an anal gland issue. Owner then declined meds for the itching and flea prevention as she will just give it a flea bath. Same owner has also told us she lint rolls her dog sometimes as flea control and asked if dogs can get spoiled (really, 17 years into the dog and you are asking this?). This particular person is a repeat offender to "the unusual."