Thanks to all my great staff who help me collect these!
1. Tech: What kind of worms are you seeing?
Client: The regular kind.
2. Client insists on a Friday afternoon appointment for a vomiting cat. Radiograph looked ok so I offered some symptomatic meds which they declined. Apparently, his girlfriend the vet tech was planning on using herbal cat nip tea. I don't have anything against what sounded like a harmless home remedy but also was unsure of how they were going to administer this, what the appropriate dose was, and how effective it would be. I asked if they would like to at least take the meds home just in case given that it was Friday afternoon. They declined. Not really sure why they came in.
3. Client called to ask about tick control and then wanted to know what kind of "poison" was in the ticks this year as one had bit her foot and it looked just awful and she had tried several home remedies and it just wasn't working. She told the receptionist she would show her when she came in to pick up the tick prevention for her dog. And she did. And it was nasty. She was advised to seek medical care after discussing ticks with our staff for no less than one hour.
4. A woman and her adult son, who both seemed a little off, present with a barely examinable, fractious dog for a rabies vaccine and also wanted some bloodwork just to make sure everything looked all right. At the end of the appointment they announced that they had forgotten to mention the dog's occasional lameness which was the whole reason they came in. Evidently the primary goal was not the rabies vaccine or the bloodwork. And evidently she thought the bloodwork might show cause of lameness. Um, not typically. She also wanted to know (after we gave it) if the dog could get rabies from the vaccine. Also no.
5. Clients arrive with what is obviously a mixed breed black and white puppy. According to the owners one of his parents was a chocolate lab and the other a black lab. The breeders were giving this one away because they couldn't sell him as he was not standard. I don't know if they breeders were lying or just unaware of lab genetics but either way they had an "accident."
6. Overheard clients on their way into the exam room saying they were not sure if the dog had been bitten or had cancer. This really made me curious as to what I would be seeing. I think everyone involved (dog included) was relieved when the diagnosis was "hot spots."
7. Someone placed their dog who was having a seizure in water thinking it might help. FYI, it does not.
8. Owner asked if she could put Frontline on herself because she had ticks.
9. Receptionist: It is a long, short or medium haired cat?
Client: It has hair like I've never felt before, like a mink.
Receptionist: (pause) So, is it long?
Client: Well it's not really long, but it's not short either
Receptionist: So let's go with medium
Once again kudos to my receptionist for keeping a straight face.
10. Owner comes in explaining that his dog had some bite wounds which seemed to be healing but about a week later he had found a dead beaver whose dentition matched the bite wounds on the dog and he wondered what he should do. Seriously dude? Not to judge a book by it's cover but this did not appear to be someone who had any expertise in the field of forensic odontology. We advised a rabies booster anyway.