Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The Unusual: Part 5

A belated holiday gift from Borderblog...

1.  Client presented with a cat in a carrier for a skin condition or wound (can't remember).  I guess they thought we would not be getting the cat out of the carrier because they suggested we get a flashlight to shine in so we could see it better.

2.  A client walked into the veterinary clinic to ask some questions about fleas and her pet.  She asked if an RN was available to talk with her.  When advised that there were none present but that she could speak with the veterinarian she replied with "well, I guess that will have to do."  Really?  What did she expect?

3.  Client described to me in great detail all about the gay sex her dogs have and could that be a cause of the pet's current issue.  In the lobby.  In front of other clients.  It was like a train wreck where you just can't look away.

4. Random person walks in requesting to buy Ivermectin because the feed store is closed (it was a non-holiday Thursday morning-hmmm).  Upon further questioning he said he needed it because his cat had a bladder worm.  He knows this because he saw her pee it out on the carpet and he picked it up in his hand and it was still wiggling.  He also went on to explain that bladder worms are very rare and usually need to be removed by surgery.  He acknowledged that although he know the Ivermetin would not cure his cat it would at least help.  Given that absolutely none of that is true (including the existence of bladder worms) we did not sell him any ivermectin.  I don't know if this person was really off his rocker or had concocted a very elaborate scheme to procure ivermectin for some unknown reason.

All of these were answers in the "breed" section of new patient forms.  No editing has been performed.
1.  pom, puddle, dotsun, sitsu (yes, all for one dog, exactly as written)
2.  taco bell dog
3.  pocket beagle
4.  cat
5.  southern husky (this one was actually over the phone)

And as a special treat, this episode of "the unusual" has a choose your own adventure section.  In my list of ideas for this post I had a note about "alien control" but for the life of me can't remember the story that goes with that.  But, I'm sure it's a good one so use your own imagination!

As a side note, how disturbing is it that my career is so strange I can't remember a story about aliens?


LauraK said...

Wow, these made me giggle. It's amazing that these people are still alive- sounds like most of them don't have ANY common sense! Crazy!

Sara said...

LOL. Thanks for the laugh!

"Taco Bell dog" -what a riot.

shanendoah@The Dog Ate My Wallet said...

Is it wrong of me to now want a "Pocket Beagle"?
Oh, no, wait, then it would be even hard to catch when it decided to explore the world under the blackberries...

Brianne said...

God, this is hilarious. I remember those days. Had a lady screaming at me on the phone once to find her dog - she thought a microchip was a tracking device, and she'd lost her dog. Another lady who came in AS we were locking up, with no doctor, wanted her animal to be seen (I think it was a cat with a URI), no appointment. When I told her we couldn't because the doctor had already left for the day, she said she wasn't leaving the lobby and started screaming. Just screaming at the top of her lungs. For a really long time. When I eventually got her to go to the emergency clinic, I called them to let them know she was headed their way and apologize in advance. The guy I talked to when I called ended up being my fiance a year later.

And new client forms are the cheapest form of entertainment, particularly with dachshund owners. I've seen dotson, daxun, doxin, dashound, daxund, the list goes on.